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The question nagged at me—not least because of my own experiences watching promising relationships peter out over text message—so I set out on a mission.

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Interviews with people in non-monogamous relationships since 1972 by the GSS have shown that approximately 12% of men and 7% of women admit to having had an extramarital relationship.

Dee’s ex kept pursuing her periodically for over ten years until she stopped taking his calls and emails.

“Ten years of anxiety about when I’d hear from him next or what the hell he wanted with me is enough.

[Read: How to stop a selfish person from hurting you and breaking you] Aren’t we all just a little selfish?

All of us can be selfish at times, especially when we want something badly. But if your selfish streak is less of an occasional occurrence and more of a behavioral trait, that’s something you need to pay attention to. A happy relationship hinges on a perfect balance, and even a slight change in the balance changes the way one or both partners look at the relationship.